I'd be posting in myspace if i was sober enough to login. I am so freaking wasted. I cant even feel my freaking face. I had lots of jello shots and shots of tarantula. I didn;t feel a damn thing until i started to waterfall the tarantula. they had to tell me to stop. good thing they did eh? im am so freaking wasted. i feel like puking but its not coming. everyone is asleep with their SO. adly i do not have one. I stubbed my toe shutting the screen door. its purple now and i think the toenail will come off. i texted this girl next to me asking her where her b/f was and she replied with, are you coming to the party? how awesome is that. i know alot of people will look down on me ecause o this post. i did it too! i dont know why i ever did. time to drink my mug rootbeer and hopefully puke cause im feeling pretty shitty right about now.

Wedensday night was so fun! She came over and we watched a few movies. She brought me a slurpee and some other items to me at work too ^_^ We watched Hotel Rwanda, Date Movie, and Anchorman. Fantastic movies and fantastic company. Then we ended up turning Anchorman off. We ended up talking and staying up most of the time just teasing and joking around. My arms went numb, how crazy is that!? Never had that happen before. Then we went out to breakfast before she left. I gave her one of my blankies <3

I'll be over you eventually, no worries.

i wrote this at lunch today.

I want to call you and talk to you to see how you are doing. I want to hear your voice. I want to bring you a slurpee. Maybe I will. I don't want to ruin anything with your boyfriend but at the same time I do. I want to be with you. It's been three days since we last talked and it is killing me. Nothing is appetizing anymore. I just want to hold you. Go out to lunch, dinner, breakfast? Head over to your house after work and suprise you with a slurpee. Watch a movie and stay until dawn just holding eachother. Our first kiss when you pushed me off the bed and I lept up and pounced you and we kissed. How perfect was that. It took my breath away. I feel like I sound so pathetic but this is how i feel. I hate knowing I can't see or talk to you because your boyfriend is there >:| I just can't express how much I want to be with you. I'm just waiting for the day he leaves and we can hangout again. I hate seeing your name everywhere. I'm lame.

why does it kill me so much to know that she is with her boyfriend?

almost three days since we've talked. It is driving me crazy. Can;t get her off of my mind, i hope she calls or messages me :/ soon.

i want her so badly, grrr

I'm so angry at myself for allowing this to happen. I don't want to let go. I think I'm a better choice anyways. I've gotten used to it though, after all I am a "substitute person." I'm just there until the real one comes back, or they stop fighting, or whatever the reason may be. I'm just so comfortable around her. It is just relaxing. All the laughter we have from stupid jokes or stupid things we say. Then laughing even harder because one of us snorts, not that is fantastic. Staying up all hours of the night at Denny's talking or watching Fresh Prince or Boy Meets World. Cuddling too, that was always nice. Going to the movies or bowling for the first time. That was fun, and unlike me to do. The first time was unexpected but made it all the better. Same with the kiss, it took the breath out of me. I can honestly say not alot of kisses have done that to me. I love it when you meet me for lunch. I love seeing you. I like the small things you do for me. I want to be with you. I like you =[ I'm extremely unhappy with this decision you've made. I'm hoping it will change.

I have the whole weekend off. It is weird. :/

I hate my mom. I hate everything about her. I hate the way sjhe talks, the way she sighs. The way she spends 400$ of our grocery money on pain killers so we have no food. The way she bitches about gas when she doesn't pay a damn thing on it. She gives me hugs, I hate that. The way she bithes at me right before I'm going to work.

What Will Kerby Get ?

Xmas pressie predictor
Big wooly jumper knitted by	dillcherd
Pair of Socks from	helloojello
Bottle of Whiskey from	sweetest_chii
Cd from	marilynxmonr03
Something Cuddly from	jefferymichael
Something Intoxicating from	chii_onthe_moon
Something Silly from	pokeymegchan
Something Funny from	tearswimmer
Lump of coal from	change1211
Something Pretty from	somecoolchick
Something Shiny from	miamria
Something Naughty from	thetimster
Something Smelly from	jwhizz
Something Breakable from	needlespastic
Something Useful from	legend_of_abi
Something not useful from	blockycurvature
The Black and Decker Tool Kit from	bobrock678
Livejournal account from	frogchik
The Make-up Bag from	pinkycroo
Stack of DVDs from	makemebadd
Something Geeky from	sparkly_kitty

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I actually feel slightly used.

I'm mad at her. I'm mad at me.

I feel like it is my fault.

Well, she said it is over between us even though we weren't even going out. I liked her alot, alot alot. She said we're at different points in our lives, understandable.

What chokes up the throat
can mess with your mind
is used by the good
as well as unkind

It governs the cosmos
Used by a few
Can cause harm or good
to your friends and you

So I've been having some serious doubts about my religious decision. Someone asked me why I converted and i honestly have no answer anymore. Why is that?

You scored as Angel. Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel. </td> Angel 67% Demon 50% WereWolf 42% Faerie 42% Mermaid 33% Dragon 17% What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Mace Windu. </td> Mace Windu 67% Anakin Skywalker 61% Yoda 58% C-3PO 47% Obi Wan Kenobi 44% General Grievous 44% Darth Vader 42% Padme Amidala 42% Emperor Palpatine 33% Clone Trooper 33% Chewbacca 31% R2-D2 25% Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

1. Guys hate sluts.

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" - two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never
mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Guys will brag about anything.

24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if 1 guy's confused, then we're all confused.

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

37. Guys don't really have final decisions.

38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

50. No guy can handle all his problems by his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.